The shoulder shell is back! Truth is, I missed drawing it and even though I designed them, I ended up REALLY not liking the new spaulders. This entire strip seems like it’s tailor-made to have Yakkity Sax played in the background. Now all we need is Benny Hill coming over the next sand dune… Also, […]
Annnnnd the hiatus is over! Man, this move took FOREVER. You never realize just how much junk you have until you have to pack it all up and move it. Especially when you have twins, which means you have duplicates of darn near everything! Ugh. Anyway, thanks for your patience, folks. _ Strangely, paladins tend […]
And now you know where the crew keeps all their gear… and the drawbacks of said. Jaine’s belt pouches are modified Bags of Holding with arcane reinforcement so that sharp objects (like Dhur’s axe or Jaine’s little-used rapier) won’t tear the bag and dump everything into the Astral Plane. Yes, I thought this through. Yes, […]
I got the D&D Starter Set in the mail last Thursday. Here are my brief impressions: When they say “starter set,” do they mean it. Essentially, the rules are a booklet with the standard explanations of what a roleplaying game is, a rundown on the 6 statistics that make up a character, a combat section, […]
Warning: the following contains a teensy bit of soul-baring. If that’s not your cup of tea, no problem and I’ll see you next week. For the rest of you, here we go… 1… 2… 3… Okay, full-on honesty time here, folks. As I’m sure some of you have noticed, I have been fighting creative burn-out […]
Normally, I’d write here about the 5th Edition of D&D and how it looks promising (it does – the long national 4th edition nightmare is over) along with the trailer for Tyranny of Dragons, which is amazing. I might also write about how the new expansion for World of Warcraft, Warlords of Draenor, also looks […]
And now, in a continuing service, an entry from the Encyclopedia Ardrisia. SKULLBALL On the Lower Planes, life is a grueling existence and usually very short. Unrelentingly harsh weather conditions, demonic adversaries and a distinct lack of decent take-out food are among the many things that can make a soul give in to despair. However, […]
Yes, my go-to sound effect for trans-dimensional travel is VORP. ____ My copy of the new Player’s Handbook arrived the other day and I have to say, overall, it looks SOOOOOOO much easier to play than 4th Edition. The system itself seems solid and easy to play out of the box, which could not be […]
Not much going now folks… but next week? Hoo Boy! Strip #500 and the 5th Anniversary of MeatShield! See you then! ~Rob
And now, a special guest blog post from Kathy, Rob’s wife. As you may have noticed, this is Rob’s 500th strip. As it happens, it’s also the 5-year anniversary of Meatshield. Both are pretty significant accomplishments! Rob has worked hard to make Meatshield what it is today. He has developed likeable characters, engaging storylines, and […]
Wow! I need to have my wife write my blog posts for me more often! Thank you all very very much for all the kind words, they mean more to me than you could possibly know. 🙂 Speaking of someone writing for me, I hereby cede the floor to the kind scholars at Kilanio University… […]
Some folks see prune juice as a “warrior’s drink,” but I put it to you that coffee beats some dried-up plum juice any day hands down. And yes, that’s how I occasionally take my coffee. So now the secret has been revealed! 🙂 I tried an experiment last week. DMs that I’ve gamed with in […]
Earlier in the week, I posted a geek rant on Facebook, where a few things that had been bouncing around in my head for a while finally broke loose. I shall now reprint and expound on that post thusly: DOCTOR WHO: Peter Capaldi seems like a great actor, but I just can’t cotton to him […]
For that last panel, I had this scene from an otherwise forgettable Disney movie bouncing in my head. In The Emperor’s New Groove, a bunch of the villain’s thugs get alchemically transformed into animals. One turns into a cow and says, “Umm, excuse me, I’m a cow, can I go home?” Don’t know why that […]
Today’s punchline is brought to you today courtesy of my wife. It’s one of the many reasons I married her: she is good at helping me get out of my own way and bring the funny. No new strip on Friday, on account of a) I’ll be recovering from a turkey coma and b) I […]
For those of you in the U.S. who aren’t familiar with it, the cyclops prosecutor is wearing a barrister’s wig, common in the UK. Why did I put him in a barrister’s wig? I felt like it. 🙂 Anyway, a brief little bit about true names: in many cultures, there is the name that your […]
UPDATE – 12/22/14: I’m sorry I didn’t post this earlier, but MeatShield will be on hiatus until 01/12/15, which is when my kids go back to school. I need to time to mentally regroup and do the traditional holiday stuff with my family. Happy Holidays to you and yours! One of these days, that DA’s […]
I am almost done with my current 3.5 D&D campaign and I’m chomping at the bit to try D&D 5th Edition. One of my regular players will be taking on the task of DM, so I will get to play after a long dry spell. During the long national trial that was 4th Edition, there […]
Just in case you don’t remember, Gerta lives in a halfdome kind of yurt… thing. So, the Great MeatShield Planehopping contest…. *sigh* I think I made it too hard to participate. I probably should have just asked folks to retweet with the hashtag #planehopping. Too late for that now, though. Since no one has yet […]
I have finally recovered from the Cold from Baator. Now I have this annoying non-productive cough that just won’t die. Ugh. Anyhows, back to comic-making! Take care, ~Rob
Rock, meet Hard Place. Where ever could our heroes have ended up? I’m working on making ebook versions of both Books One and Two, as there have been some requests for such. Stay tuned! Take care, ~Rob
Orcs ain’t much fer manners an’ stuff. It’s a miracle Dhur turned out the way he did. 🙂 That’s all for this week, folks! Take care! ~Rob
UPDATE: Due to unforeseen circumstances, the new MeatShield strip will be delayed until Monday (4/13/15) morning. 🙁 I think Dh’oh’s Three F’s beat Conan’s “what is best in life?” quote. It’s easier to remember, anyway. Hasta, ~Rob
“But Rob,” I hear you think, “I’ve run paladins before that have gone to the Outer Planes and they didn’t attract any more attention than the attention they brought upon themselves. What gives?” Patience, Grasshopper. There is a reason 🙂 In other news, this is the first strip to be drawn, inked and colored 100% […]
I remember when I was a kid learning D&D and coming across the Fireball spell and the material component needed to cast it: bat guano. I then had to look up the word “guano.” I remember my teachers being impressed by my vocabulary in elementary school. Small wonder, since I read comic books and played […]
It’s been a while since we heard from the Sledge… all the way back here. Looks like the intelligent weapon that belonged to one of history’s greatest paladins might just have an agenda of its own… 🙂 Take care, ~Rob
In the D&D games I used to play in back in high school, there was a standing rule that if you called a god’s name often enough on the Outer Planes, they could hear it and might show up to both a) tell you to shut up, and b) unleash their holy wrath upon you. […]
That the nice thing about being a god: everyone laughs at your jokes – they have no choice. Except other gods, but what do they know from comedy? Hasta, ~Rob
Hope you like the new armor, Becky. I got tired of drawing coffee cans on your shoulders. 🙂 Christiane, a frequent commenter, had told the tale of her paladin in her comment for the strip previous to this one and how she chopped her own head off with three natural ones in a row. This […]
And now, in a continuing service, an entry from the Encyclopedia Ardrisia… Grundahr Ghall At the Dawn of Time, when the various gods gathered together at the Grand Conference to determine who was going to do what in the world, one of their number distinguished himself not by his power or wisdom, but by his […]
UPDATE – 6/22/15: My father’s interment is scheduled for 7/3/15. I hope to be back at the drawing table by about 7/15/15 or so, after handling the rest of Dad’s affairs. Thank you all for the kind and supportive comments. Thank you also to those of you who contributed to the GoFundMe campaign to raise […]
I’m back. This past month has been the hardest I’ve ever gone through and I couldn’t have made it through without the support of my family, friends and my readers. From prayers and/or positive thoughts to the actual monetary donations to help pay for my father’s service, I am truly humbled by the love and […]
I’ve often seen Dhur as the kind of character made by someone who’s new to gaming and doesn’t understand how to allocate skills. DM: Are you absolutely sure you want to devote your last three skill points to Craft (needlepoint)? Player: I love needlepoint, yes! DM: Even though you’re going to be playing a Ranger […]
Where’s Vorpal, you ask? She’s where any dog worth her salt would be: asleep in the kitchen. 🙂 It had to happen: someone’s character in my gaming group got killed. Let me be clear, though: I didn’t kill him – I wasn’t the DM this time around. The character of my brother-in-law’s brother Vern (not […]
No, he’s not a White Walker. Not that there’s anything wrong with that. 🙂 Work continues behind the scenes on the Mighty MeatShield Store as I and my brain trust (read: my wife and my friends) are hard at work coming up with some pretty cool stuff for you all. Would you like a sneak […]
For Dhur, being drunk while fighting might actually be an asset? I’ve been trying to veer away from really revealing blog posts lately, as I think they might put some people off, especially newer readers. However, something happened recently that I feel the need to talk about. This isn’t a set-up for a joke. You […]
I suppose this is the closest Vorpal’s going to get to eating Frosty Paws. 🙂 Halloween is coming up on Saturday and I have chosen my costume: I shall be Concerned Onlooker #2. My wife will be Concerned Onlooker #1 because I’ve been married long enough to know that she gets (and deserves) top billing. […]
UPDATE: I spoke too soon. I sat down at my trusty, barely 3 years old iMac to do some standard social media stuff and after being on for about an hour, it decided to shut itself off. Then it refused to start back up again, even after (alert: Mac computer geek speak ahead) resetting the […]
As I said in the last blog post, my trusty iMac (which turned out to be seven years old, not three – how time flies!) died on me. The logic board was the culprit. It would have cost nearly the same amount to fix it than to buy a new computer. Ergo… If I can […]
By the time you all read this, I will have just wrapped up a grueling 1400 mille-long drive from California to my in-law’s place in north Texas for Christmas. By the way, just in case anyone has too much money and wants to spoil their favorite cartoonist (me), I’d really like to get a Cintiq […]
The holidays have come and gone and life is getting back to normal, or as normal as my life ever gets, at any rate. We’re in the grips of 2016 now and as longtime readers know, 2015 really put me through the wringer. I’m glad to see its backside. Like everyone else I know, I’ve […]
You know how sometimes you might make a character in a RPG with a few skill points in an obscure skill, like Craft (Weaving) or Conversational Russian, just to see if the GM will incorporate that into the game somehow? You’re about to see that play out in the next strip. 😊 Something I’m trying […]
Halflings – they just don’t get no respect! Recently, Geek & Sundry posted a article about how the characters in Harry Potter would break down into D&D statistics. Trying to figure out what class and, in some cases, races our favorite characters from other media would be in Dungeons & Dragons is a long time […]
UPDATE – 3/2/16 – Apologies, folks: the new MeatShield strip will be delayed due to this cold/flu thing that has smacked me and my family upside the head. Welcome to all our new readers from Facebook! Hope you like what you see! Our heroes are currently finding their way back to the extraplanar city of […]
I guess this is what happens when you make an ice sculpture of someone (and then confess a longstanding crush). Believe it or not, it’s rather hard to draw people kissing, especially since it’s something I’d never drawn before. Y’see, it’s like there are two Robs in my head: Past Rob and Future Rob. Past […]
I thought about having Ch’p say “Word” to Dhur in that last panel, but I decided that a) I didn’t need it and b) It would show my age. Like I did just now, home skillet. 🙂 I ran a bit behind this week, so this week will be a one-strip week. Next week, we’ll […]
Because, let’s face it, Dhur is one of those guys that if he existed in the real world would be tooling around on the biggest, loudest, most obnoxious Harley he could lay his mitts on. It’s been brought to my attention that The Unnamed Royal Adventuring Company #47 (our heroes) have been woefully bereft of […]
You know what I love? I love it when I post the new social media posts for the latest comic strip, but then forget to actually post the new strip on the website. Yessir, that just makes my day. 🙁 Sorry about that, you guys. No April Foolery today, promise. Take care, ~Rob
Hey, it’s Jerry! Remember him? Click here to refresh your memory! And now, in a continuing service, an entry from the Encyclopedia Ardrisia. Primordial Elements Terr. Aer. Fajr. Aquo. These are the names of the Inner Planes, each corresponding to a classical element (earth, air, fire and water, respectively). In isolated areas of each one […]
Look at it this way: if all your people were known for was overeating, running around barefoot, and hanging around with dodgy wizards, you’d be a tad defensive too. I’m a day late with this, but May 5th was and is a very important holiday in the history of the United States. I’m of course […]
Poor Vorpal. When ya gotta go, ya gotta go, Becky. Hasta, ~Rob
After all the crap that’s been thrown at our little band o’ heroes, I thought some rewards were in order. Oh, and yes, Dhur was functionally illiterate (once he has something read to him, he’ll remember it, but otherwise…) He will probably use this new gift to find out just how much he’s been overcharged […]
William Faulkner once gave this piece of writing advice: “In writing, you must kill your darlings.” This refers to those parts of a story that the writer has fallen in love with but aren’t needed for the story anymore and can perhaps even be distracting to the reader. It can be a character, a phrase, an […]
What a difference 3 months makes! Thank you all for the extraordinarily kind words during my hiatus/sabbatical/vacation/whatever you call it. I feel much better, less burned out, and ready to draw! I really needed that. 🙂 So, who might that ghostly figure be? Take care, ~Rob
Don’t remember our old pal Gary? Go take look here to refresh your memory. Just to head off any continuity questions: if it was two years ago, why are the ruins still smoking? Good question, you have a fine eye for detail.:) To answer that, I’ll ask you this related question: if it was two […]
Winning streaks don’t last forever, Dhur. 🙂 I have decided that MeatShield needs to go back to a weekly schedule, effective today. There’s an old saying: “First you get good, then you get fast, then you get good and fast.” I’m working on the fast part. In other geeky news, I’m going to get to […]
I’m really enjoying playing D&D again, after DMing for so long. Wanna hear about my character? SURE you do! 🙂 I’m running a Human Diviner named Elias Banrion (Elias from the Prophet Elias, Banrion from the Irish for Queen, as in Ellery Queen – here’s who that is). Elias (Eli to his friends) is a […]
Yes, in my world, magical clothing/armor have endure elements imbued in them. Why? Because comics, that’s why. 🙂 This strip is going live on Election Day here in the US. Today is probably the most stressful election in decades for everyone, no matter what side of the fence you sit on. Like a lot of […]
Just in case you all missed it: Dungeons and Dragons was inducted into the Toy Hall of Fame at the National Museum of Play! Like many of you, I had no idea that the Toy Hall of Fame existed, but there you go. Take care, ~Rob
This cartoon is going live on Wednesday, November 23, which is the day before Thanksgiving here in the US. I know it’s a tad clichéd to talk about what you’re thankful for at this time of year, but here goes (I’ll make it short, I promise): I am thankful for my wife and my children, […]
I have recently been told that I am hard to shop for vis-a-vis Christmas. I contend that I am easy to shop for – just buy me the books listed on my Amazon wish list, but not everyone wants to buy nothing but books for me. This puts me in a “First World Problems” sort […]
I’m pretty sure Becky knows how short the careers of most paladins are and the odds of collecting on any pension; she’s just grousing right now. I’ll be taking the next two weeks off for the holidays, so in the meantime, Merry Christmas, Happy Hanukkah, Happy Kwanzaa, and Happy Holidays to any other holidays I […]
Speaking of action figures and their accessories… I have an awesome brother-in-law who is all about the 3D printing on a professional level and a while back he asked me to make a turnaround sheet for the Nailmoor Sledge (Becky’s talking, ornery hammer). A few months later, this is what he showed me: AIn’t that […]
In D&D, there has always been four classes that, nine times out of ten, make up your standard adventuring party: Fighter (or “fighting-man” as it was originally called), Wizard (or “magic-user”), Rogue (“thief”) and Cleric, the guy who can heal with a touch and ward off undead. The fact that our little gang of misfits […]
Note to observant and/or longtime readers: Yes, I did retcon Kilanio’s descriptor just a tad, from “City of Towers,” to “City of Seven Towers.” Why? Two reasons: 1) It sounds cooler this way, and 2) seven towers are a lot easier to draw than an entire city of them. 🙂 Besides, there’s already a City […]
One of these days, I’m going draw a comic strip that doesn’t have a metric ton of detail in it. No cityscapes, no horses, etc. Yep, one day… 🙂 Next week, I’m going to be restarting the Patreon campaign for MeatShield. I’ve learned a few things since I ran my last one and I’m ready […]
And now, in a continuing service, an entry from the Encyclopedia Ardrisia… Kilanio Royal Palace Also known by the nickname “Warpwood Estate,” the palace of the ruling family of Westhame has it origins dating back to the founding of the kingdom by The Magnificent Nine, the heroes who explored the western half of the continent […]
Ah, Aniera, I’ve missed you. I guess she changed her mind about marriage. Sadly, however, this DOES mean that Jonus would be Jaine’s step-brother… if he hadn’t been disowned and thrown back into his prison cell. Take care, ~Rob
Dhur just put one whole point into his Bluff skill and is itching to use it! While I was drawing this strip, something occurred to me: how would a Dungeons & Dragons-style city handle emergencies like fires, giant sinkholes, hurricanes, and earthquakes? Would there be a department that handles such matters, like a fantasy-world version […]
No question, Vorpal knows her name. 🙂 Take care, ~Rob
Plus, Becky talks to her god and he talks back. She also has a puppy that has a history of eating entire inns. I am off for the Lone Star State as of July 4th, so my daughters (in their first airplane ride ever) may get to watch the fireworks from above! I plan on […]
Poor Brother Leon, trying to bail out the sinking boat that is the Bitter-Ore clan. See you next week! ~Rob
Man, you leave him unattended for two seconds… I’m seeing lots of “Doctor Who’s gonna be a WOMAN??? Nuh-uh! He’s a dude!” (or words to that effect) posts popping up on my Facebook feed, many by people that I ordinarily find to be progressive, rational people. My response? About. Frikkin’. Time. They made the Master […]
Just a little after-dinner conversation about underground escape networks. Like you do. Don’t remember Dhur’s brother, Ghar? Click here for a refresher! Take care, ~Rob
Wow, wonder what set Becky off? *Evil DM laugh* See you next week for MeatShield’s 8th anniversary! Take care, ~Rob
Wow, Becky sure is ticked off! In other news… MEATSHIELD – YEAR EIGHT! Eight years ago today I launched Meatshield.net! Since 2009, a lot has happened, good and bad. I’ve met (via the Interwebs) a lot of great people, learned a great deal about being a cartoonist and a business owner (still working on that […]
This is the kind of thing that happens when your primary weapon is an intelligent magical artifact – every once in a while, it has something to say, and it’s usually something you don’t want to hear. I made this announcement earlier in the week on the MeatShield Patreon page, but realized that I should […]
I kind of view the Skulls like the Rover in the BBC TV show The Prisoner, except they’re skulls. And they talk. And can probably vaporize you with a look. Take care, ~Rob
I gotta say, The Inconspicuous Inn is starting to grow on me as a tavern name, supplanting my previous favorite, The Inn of the Moaning Lungfish. Here we finally meet Rochar, a D&D character run by MeatShield Patreon patron Foradain! Described as a halfing archer and ranger, Rochar is slightly taller than most halflings and […]
Hmm, that coat looks familiar…. I’m thinking of restructuring the rewards tiers for the MeatShield Patreon membership. Here are the reward tiers as they stand now, with editorial comment afterwards: $1.00 per month (Barbarian Level) – Access to the MeatShield Patreon Feed. I don’t think this needs to be changed too much, but I do […]
Update from the Land of Packing Boxes Our move to the Lone Star State next month soldiers on, step by step. My house is slowly filling with cardboard boxes bought from a place called (imaginatively enough) Box City. Funny story: when my girls were little and they would ask me where we going, if I […]
Wow. That’s pretty cold, Malvat, looting the body of one of your dead apprentices. Then again, what D&D player worth their salt hasn’t at least thought of looting their buddy’s corpse when their character dies? Ray: “You know, until you get raised from the dead, you’re not going to have much use for this Staff […]
Daaaang, son! Way to live your faith Leon! Hey, want to see what happens next? For $2 a month you can join the MeatShield Patreon community and get early access to the latest MeatShield comic, one week before the rest of humanity! That works out to about 7 cents a day – not too shabby! […]
Imagine how Philo is going to feel when he sits down to plan out his next gadget knowing that a being of immense cosmic power is WATCHING HIS EVERY MOVE WITH GREAT INTEREST. I don’t know about you, but that much pressure would stick me with the world’s biggest case of writer’s block. Or artificer’s […]
I should put out a MeatShield book titled Tales from the Moaning Lungfish, which would be a play off of the title Tales from the Vulgar Unicorn. Don’t know if I will or not, but that would be a cool title, IMHO. Hasta, ~Rob
I took a page out of Dave Kellet’s book and drew a slight departure from the main strip. I’ve always wanted to do a short strip featuring Vorpal and what she gets up to when she slips away from Becky. Yes, slips away – Vorpal purposefully finds a way out from under Becky’s gaze. She’s […]
Know someone who might like the strip but is intimidated by having to wade through 660+ strips just to get caught up? The MeatShield Primer is the perfect jumping-on point! Tell your family and friends! Post it on the social media outlet of your choice! Print it out and slap it up on game store […]
NO I’M NOT CRYING YOU’RE CRYING THERE’S SOMETHING IN MY EYE THAT’S ALL– *ahem* Take care, ~Rob
I thought about putting a sign on that booth that read “Sail the Friendly Seas,” but decided against it – too close to home (United Airlines, whose motto is “Fly the Friendly Skies”, employed my dad for 33 years). Also, welcome to the first cartoon of 2019! Take care, all! ~Rob
The game is afoot! The game is also a-hand, a-neck, and a-spleen! ~Rob
Becky is getting more patient – she would’ve kicked that guy’s butt for the “sweetcheeks” crack, and then we’d have three people in jail. BTW – I forgot to draw the white feather in the fourth panel. Let’s all just imagine that it’s there anyway. 🙂 I meant to draw it, at any rate. ~Rob
(apologies to Elvis Costello) Hmmm… curiouser and curiouser. *insert Evil DM Laugh here* ~Rob
Yes, the prop guy is missing fingers on his left hand. Name me a shop teacher who didn’t at least have part of a finger missing. Also, cedar may not be rare here, in the Real World, but in Ardris? Like Smitty said, that stuff ain’t cheap. In other news, I have just decided that […]