529 – What Not To Wear, D&D Edition

Hope you like the new armor, Becky. I got tired of drawing coffee cans on your shoulders. 🙂


Christiane, a frequent commenter, had told the tale of her paladin in her comment for the strip previous to this one and how she chopped her own head off with three natural ones in a row. This reminded me of a little story that was initially going to be my reply to her, but I decided it needed to be up here in the main blog post. So anyway, in my home game, my brother-in-law runs a warforged barbarian named Shrapnel. Shrapnel is also prone to extremes of fortune: during combat, he will either roll a 20, a critical hit, or he will roll a 1, a critical fail. Rarely is it ever in between. If you roll a 1 In my game, you fumble your melee weapon and it goes flying out in a random direction (1d4, 1= N, 2=S, 3=E, 4=W) and up to 6 squares away or your bowstring snaps with a ranged weapon (or the sling leather snaps, etc.) During one particularly memorable shipboard battle, he had to go overboard DURING THE BATTLE to retrieve his greatsword that had flown out of his hands (due to the aforementioned fumble rule) and sank to the bottom of the lake. Shrapnel then ended up walking on the bottom of the lake (warforged don’t need to breathe) until he reached land. Good times. Not for him, but for me, since I’m the DM. *evil DM laugh*

Janessa, another frequent commenter, had asked about the Patreon campaign, as I had said I was going to relaunch it. The truth is, the last time I ran a Patreon campaign, it didn’t go very well. However, that was almost a year ago, so hopefully this one will go better. However, I’m not sure sure how many tiers to offer and how many bonuses to provide. Here are the rewards I’m thinking of offering:

  1. Pledge $1.00 or more per comic strip – HIRELING LEVEL: Thank you! Your support is super-appreciated, just like the hard-working hireling, toting treasure out of dungeon complexes. Every little bit helps!
  2. Pledge $2.00 or more per comic strip – BARD LEVEL: You have a fine appreciation for the arts and have become a Bard! You have earned my thanks and gratitude, along with your name (or the name of your D&D character) inscribed upon the Adventurer’s Wall of Awesome on the main MeatShield site!
  3. Pledge $5.00 or more per comic strip – MONK LEVEL: You have centered your chi and become a Monk! As such, you are entitled to not only the previous rewards, but also to view the newest MeatShield comic one day early here on Patreon!
  4. Pledge $10.00 or more per comic strip – PALADIN LEVEL: You have taken up arms to defend the helpless as a Paladin! Such holy might grants you all of the above rewards, plus access to a special Patreon-only sketch blog, updated three times per week!
  5. Pledge $15.00 or more per comic strip – BARBARIAN LEVEL: The call of the wild sings through your blood as a Barbarian! As such, you receive all of the previous rewards, plus access to a monthly video Q&A via Google Hangouts with the creator of MeatShield, Rob “The Guy Typing This Stuff” Chambers!
  6. Pledge $20.00 or more per comic strip – ARCHMAGE LEVEL: The secrets of the multiverse are laid out before you as an Archmage! Become an Archmage and all of the previous rewards will be yours, as well as a one-time cameo of yourself or anyone else you wish as a Non-Player Character (NPC) in a MeatShield strip!

What are your thoughts, folks?

Take care,

~Rob

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