Just a reminder: The contest for the funniest in-game (D&D or otherwise) moment is still on! The prize is a 8"x 11" sketch of the MeatShield character of your choice and the deadline will be October 25th, 2011! Keep the comments coming in!
See you all on Monday!
Hmm,I must admit I’m intrigued by this little plot twist.You have curious now has to how caber tossing is performed on this world? Did Becky have a wild toss? Do orcs have caber-catchers? ( Seen a few highland games,I know the absurdity in THAT question )I will be anxiously awaiting monday’s installment to the story behind Yorg’s skull dent.
posted an in-game moment on the original page… that being said, Yorg doesn’t seem to be too PO’d about his skull-dent other than mild annoyance.
well he certainly doing well for a head injury that severe
I wonder if orcs get smarter with head injuries.
a COMMON mistake? intentional pun?
on another note, I’M BACK!!!
sorry, typed fast and misspelled my name, can you fix it in the above comment please?
Also, whats the story with the book?
@Dragonborn Sorceror: Glad to have you back! As far as the book goes, I’ll go into more detail on Monday, but for now, I essentially have the book done to where I’m satisfied with it. Now comes the logistics of actually printing the thing 🙂 More on Monday.
This happened (back in `80 or `81) at one of the VERY few D&D games I ever played (I was a geekfriend – couldn’t really get into gaming, it seemed to take FOREVER!! but since I read sword n sorcery & SciFi, I could understand my friends liking it). My friend asked me to try and sit in one all day game with some of her friends. I wasn’t sure what to do, so my character was a first level chaotic neutral fighter thief… after a few levels, I guess the DM got ticked at me, and decided to kill me off, as I was elected to go first, sliding down a pole into a lower level, that was filled with a goblin horde (? or orcs or something–he wanted to kill me off), and had to go berserk and fight like crazy… I killed all my foes, but only had a few health/strength points left, and he asked what I wanted to do. I said since I’m still berserk and chaotic neutral, I raise my sword to the pole… DM said, Oh Crap… basically I had enough strength & health left to hold my sword to the pole as the rest of the party came down the pole to loot my soon to be corpse… he kept rolling, & saying “Oh Crap,” then after several rolls, he said, “congratulations, as last man standing, you won… you just killed off the rest of your team.” We were all kind of stunned, but thankfully everyone laughed… I promised I wouldn’t sit in on any more games, and they promised to still like me.
We were playing (IIRC) first edition AD&D and we were facing the Really Big Baddie, who was laughing maniacally and casting massive spells at us. He had, of course, already sent his army of Less Big Baddies at us to use up our spells and ammo. All of the spellcasters were down except me–and all I had was healing magic–and our wizard, who was looking frantic. We were headed for a heroic last stand. Our DM liked heroic last stands a whole lot.
Suddenly the guy playing the wizard grabbed his PH, flipped it open, and shoved it at the DM. “I cast this spell,” he said.
The DM stared. “What, you’re running out on the party? You know you won’t be out of range fast enough–”
“No, no, I cast it THERE.” And he stabbed his finger into the air about a hundred scale feet above the miniature representing the Big Bad.
“What? What? No. You can’t. No!”
“Look, does the spell description mention a direction?”
” . . . No.” (Grudgingly.)
“Okay, then. Mount!”
And a very surprised horse appeared about a hundred feet directly above the bad guy and squished him into the ground.
The rest of us stared in shock, then fell about laughing. “What?” I gasped. “No p-pot of p-petunias?”
Best. Climactic. Battle. Ever.
I’m the DM in this sad tale, trying desperately to set a tense scene. The party rogue, with help from the mage, has snuck into the private chambers of a cleric they think is up to no good, so they go digging for evidence. Unfortunately, Out Of Character table talk sort of ruined things…
DM: So, you open the private altar, and find –
Annoying Cleric (OOC – not even in this scene): Goat’s blood!
DM: No… ::glare at the cleric:: a small locked box.
Rogue: Cool. I Find Traps (found). Disarm Traps (disarmed) And I pick the lock – (picked).
DM: Opening the box, you find –
Annoying Cleric (OOC): Goat’s blood!
DM: No! ::glare again at the cleric:: (to the rogue) You see something wrapped in black silk.
Mage (OOC): Oooooh! Maybe it’s a portable hole.
DM: ::to the mage:: Why not let him open it and find out?
Mage (OOC) ::winces:: Sorry.
DM: (to the rogue) So you open the silk, and you find –
Annoying Cleric (OOC): Goat’s blood!
DM: No! What the &*#@ is it with you and the goat’s blood?
Annoying Cleric: Well, we think she’s actually an evil cleric in disguise, and goat’s blood is a sign of evil, so…
DM: Whatever! Anyway, (to the rogue) opening the silk parcel, you find –
Fighter (OOC – *also* not in this scene): Tampons!
DM: ::Exploding:: Fine! You find a portable hole, filed to the brim with tampons, each of them saturated in goat’s blood! Are you happy now!?!?
@Klytus: I feel your pain, as I am usually the DM.
hm…. I think Jennifer wins the contest automatically for the Hitchhiker’s Guide to the Galaxy reference
My party was going through the 3rd edition of the Tomb of Horrors. For those who don’t know, it’s a big, difficult, adventure module. The party consisted of a human monk (me), an elven sorcerer, a half orc barbarian, and a human cleric. If we had a rogue, this might not have happened. We hit this trap which none of us noticed. We weren’t told what it was, just that we had triggered it. Fine, fair enough, we roll our saves. Against impossible odds, every one of us fails the roll. The DM explains what occurred. We have been teleported to another part of the dungeon, while all of our equipment-including clothing- was teleported elsewhere. We were free to attempt to trigger the trap again and see what happened. As a monk, I did not care about my gear. I was good without it, and I jokingly said that we should try to get through the dungeon naked. The sorcerer said “I could do it.” The cleric says “If we can loot some weapons off a couple monsters, the barbarian and I should be good.” The barbarian just kept laughing. When we completed the entire adventure- in the nude- the DM informed us that he was impressed, but he didn’t think it was worth the sacrifice. I said, “We can replace the gear with the money from the adventure”. The DM smiles and responds “No pockets, no pouches, no packs. What money from the adventure?”
Just because I am usure of stories that posted before you decided to make a contest count for the prize I will re-post my story.
I was playing a “deranged” Elven War Wizard [he had 4 imaginary friends that were disembodied voices of a past Adventuring group he had traveled with and whose death he had witnessed]. My group consisted of 2 Human Clerics [one of Life/Renewal and the other a Neutral Death deity] who were brothers, a Dwarven Fighter [with a slight Napoleon complex],and 2 Halfling Thieves [one a Neutral Assassin type and the other a “Trap Finder” type]. We had fought hard to get to a Wizard’s Tower [8 Wizards] who had made a deal with Drow to invade the area in exchange for “preferential treatment” and casting a Weather Control ritual to make it permanently cloudy in that area. Once inside we realize ofcourse this is just an outlying tower of a lacky wizard but decide to take him out anyway and maybe learn more about the Cabal of Eight. Being cocky we sneak into his lab and surround him,..he turns smiles and tells out thieves that “I have heard Ettins that walk quieter than you two”. Still being cocky we tell him he has no chance of escape and he must tell us all about his bosses,..which he does laughing the whole time. We still have not gotten the idea that he is not scared of us and finds our attempts comical [players had but characters had not]. After he explains the Cabals plan in decent general detail he laughs again and says ” Now that I gave away all my secrets I guess I can kill you now,…I truly hate to see people die without knowing our true genius” and he launches multiple Magic Missiles at all of us [he had created new MM spell that targets all enemies in a radius]. Laughing he floats up and begins to toy with us hitting us with what appear to be low lvl spells but that work oddly or pack a greater punch,…the whole time we are hitting him with everything we have and he is still laughing. After a few rounds he laughs again and slowly fades from view saying “lets raise the stakes”. Everyone tries to locate him but is unable to ,… one of the thieves tries Blind Fight but keeps missing,… the fighter walks around swinging at air. My Wizard walks into the middle of the room talking to his “invisible friends” saying things like “Yes I know he is around here somewhere,….no I cannot see him,… yes we can have some wine later,.. I know you would do that but you are just plain mean spirited”. He takes his bow [he is an elf so had the proficiency] smiles at the group and aims straight above his head and fires. DM’s ,who had been grinning the whole time, face drops and he says “you do what”,..I explain I fire up right above my head. DM rolls a few dice,..tell me to roll my to hit,..I roll a 20,..he says again,.. I roll another 20,… he says once again,..I roll another 20,..he says roll it once more,..I roll a 15 or a 16,..he rolls some hidden dice and tells the group “You hear an ear piercing scream and Silvermane [my Wizard] suddenly falls to the ground and seems to be struggling under something”. Turns out the Wizard was floating right above the center of the room watching us try to find him and my character [on a wild guess] hit him perfectly with the arrow,..first 20 was I was in the right area,..second 20 was to hit,…3rd 20 was to Inst-Kill,…and 4th roll was to see if the body hit me [which it did since I rolled lower than DM]. Ever after that whenever I pulled out my bow the group would shout “Enemus the Piercer”[the name my DM gave the bow after he made it magical].
Even though you said no Gazeebo stories I have to share this one just for chuckles. The group leaves town and is wandering toward the mountain where the Dwarven Citadel is and our DM [who while really smart is one of those people who thinks so fast his mouth cannot keep up] tells us “you come to the opening of a valley,..grass covers the valley floor and in the distance you see hundreds of Gazeebos”. The group thinking there is a encampment or something over that way start heading that way. DM looks at us oddly and says “as you get closer the Gazeebos wander away”. The group gets confused and somewhat bothered, luckily something clicked in my head and I ask the DM “the Gazeebos wandered away” stressing the word Gazeebo”. DM nods and says “yup”. I then ask him to describe the Gazeebos ,..he says “medium sized animal,.. some are tan others are brown,..striped on their butts,.. long pointed horns,.. they leap through the grass,..you know Gazeebos like you see on those Nat Geo shows about Africa” We all busted out laughing and the DM looked a bit confused,… then the DM got that he was saying Gazeebos instead of Gazelles and that’s why we were laughing and he joined in.