What is MeatShield?

MeatShield is a sword and sorcery, Dungeons & Dragons-style fantasy comic strip that updates weekly. The strip tells of the adventures (or lack thereof) of the following:

  • Dhur, a mighty half-orc barbarian warrior and the fiercest knitter in the Five Kingdoms
  • Ch’p, halfling monk and pastry chef of the sacred Order of the W’Shaa
  • Becky, reluctant dwarven paladin and caber-tossing champion
  • Philo, dorky changeling artificer; kind of like a magical MacGyver,
  • Jaine, a no-nonsense half-elven bard (okay, bardic graduate student) and very reluctant princess

No, I mean, what is a “meatshield”?

According to UrbanDictionary, a meatshield is “An individual possessing high stamina and strength, often sought by weaker individuals to “Tank” or absorb large amounts of incoming damage and aggression.” Kinda describes Dhur, doesn’t it?

Who are you?

My name is Rob Chambers and I’ve been drawing cartoons since the age of five. I initially started off as an editorial cartoonist in high school and later at California State University, Northridge’s Daily Sundial, where I graduated with a Bachelor’s Degree in Art.  My influences include Berke Breathed, the late Randy Wicks, Phil Foglio and many more that I can’t think of at the moment. I’m happily married and the stay-at-home dad of twin girls, so I ain’t skeered of nothin’ no more.;)

Half-elves? Half-orcs? Halflings? Dwarves? What the heck is this stuff?

In the fantasy world of Ardris, where the events of MeatShield take place, humans aren’t the only sentient species. Elves, Dwarves, and others abound. Half-elves and half-orcs are one part human and the other part… well, the other part. Halflings are, essentially, like the hobbits in the Lord of the Rings. Only mine can kick butt. This is a fantasy based strip and uses a lot of conventions found in games like Dungeons & Dragons or World of Warcraft. I’ve tried to keep the geekbabble to a minimum, though.

So, is Dhur from Bhutan?

You’re probably referring to this, which I only recently found. No, he’s not – I thought I was being clever when I named him.

You sure do use a lot of weird made-up words! How the heck do you pronounce them all?

By using this, the MeatShield Pronunciation Guide!


Dhur: DURR
Jaine: “Jane” in modern English
• Full name: Jainal’assa L’Vallis: Jay-NULL-ah-sah LUH-vall-iss
Ch’p Ir’Kell: Chip UR-ah-kell.
Becky Sourbottom: as pronounced in modern English.
Vorpal: v-OAR-pul
Philo: FYE-low.
• Full name: Philonoth Rheiune: FYE-low-noth ray-OON.
Brother Leon: As pronounced in modern English.


Taledge (royal sage): Taw-LUJ (rhymes with “college”)
Carl Bitter-Ore (dwarven thief): as pronounced in modern English
Chelle: Dhur’s ex-fiancee: Shell
Mona Dhohswif – Dhur’s mom: Moan-uh doe-SWIFF
Ghar Dhohson – Dhur’s older brother: GARR doe-SUN
Lana Gharswif – Ghar’s wife (referred to, never seen, kind of like Maris in Frasier): LAH-nah gar-SWIFF
Amea, Lako – Ghar’s kids: ah-MEE-uh, lay-KOH
Ambassador Talavosh: Taal-uh-VOSH
Barry Firegullet: as pronounced in modern English
Sidney Sourbottom (Becky’s dad) : as pronounced in modern English
Danny Sourbottom (Becky’s brother) : as pronounced in modern English
The W’Shaa Monastery: woo-SHAH
• Nival’r: Niv-ALL-urr
• D’ren: Duh-REN
• Nomos: NOH-moes
• Day’l: “dale” in modern english
• Teo: TAY-oh


Duke Leonid the 17th (Duke Leo the Pseudo-Lich): lee-oh-NID
The Drow: dr-OWW (not Dr-OH)
Blue-Hand Troll (“Blue” to his friends) : as pronounced in modern English
Zhara (succubus): SH-ah-ruh. Slight buzz on the “sh” sound
Disparoxus: Dis-puh-ROKS-uss


Kelamane, God of valor, justice and truth: KELL-uh-main
Morridin, God of the Dwarves: MOE-red-in
“Morrie, God of sandwiches” – bogus god made up by Carl: as pronounced in modern English
Vasra, God of serpents and secrets: VAH-zra
Kistadous, King of Demons: KISS-tah-doos
Terron, God of the Earth: TAIR-on
Grundahr Ghall, God of the Orcs: GROON-darr GALL


The Late King Franz the 22nd of Westhame: as pronounced in modern English
The Queen Dowager Aniera Mular: ah-NEER-uh
The Royal House of Mular: MOO-larr
Prince Jonus of Westhame: JOE-nuss
Archmage Noral’lasstas d’Vallis of Val’Dhar: nor-UHL-ah-lass-tuss DUH-vall-iss
Sorathassa L’Vallis, Valana of Val’Dhar: SOAR-uh-thaa-sa LUH-vall-iss
Marithella L’Sinar, Vanalassa of Val’Dhar: MAW-REE-thella LUH-sin-arr


iOun – iphone in ardris. Jaine has one. : eye-OON
Narath prison: narr-ath

• Archmage: as pronounced in modern English
• Valana (queen): VUH-la-nah
• Vanalassa (princess): VAH-nuh-LAH-sa


• Duchy of Kilanio: Kee-LAWN-yo
• Duchy of Nitsu’a: nitt-SOO-ah
• Duchy of Suropic: sir-OH-pick
• Duchy of Sadal: suh-DOLL
• Duchy of Kobul: KO-bull
• Duchy of A’Caw: ah-KAW
• Duchy of Alliram: uh-LEER-um
• Duchy of Osapal: oh-SUH-pawl
• Duchy of Brown: as pronounced in modern English
TAROKKA: tuh-ROW-kuh or tuh-RAW-kuh (either is acceptable)
• Vedris: VED-riss
• Samilleve: SAM-ull-EV
SCRYBL, THE CITY OF SHORTCUTS: “scribble” as pronounced in modern English
The Toviat Library: TOE-vee-ut


Any questions I didn’t get to?

Email them to me at rob(at)meatshield(dot)net.