264 – You need to work on your technique

UPDATE – 9/21/11 – Man, my schedule is all kinds of messed up this week. There will be a new cartoon up on Thursday, then I’ll get back to the normal schedule next week. Thanks for understanding, folks. – RC

Now, in a continuing service, we present an entry from the Encyclopedia Ardrisia…


Many humanoid races populate the continent of Ardris; the surly dwarves, the aloof elves, the brash humans and the overly-curious halflings. Then there are the savage and unsettling orcs. The orcs are similar to a crude cousin from a side of the family that is rarely heard from. You know the one; the one that will brag about how far in the air he can blow a glob of mucus out of his nose.

Orcs have lived in Ardris for nearly as long as the other dominant races have – other than the elves, their bitter enemies. Brutishly strong and frighteningly quick-footed, orcs resemble heavily-muscled humans with gray-green skin, pointed bat-like ears flat against their skulls, and black hair. Orcs also have prominent canine teeth, protruding as tusks for many males, giving rise to the racial slur “Tusker”. Orcs have keen eyesight, especially in the dark. They have a crude, primal connection with the land, which extends to their skill with mining, one of the few legitimate industries they indulge in.

Orcs can be found nearly anywhere in Ardris, but one can sure of finding nothing but orcs in the barely-organized tribal lands of Tarokka, under the nominal rule of the Tarok clan. Orcs make up over 75% of the sentient population of Tarokka, with the remainder made up of humans, half-orcs and other humanoids.

Orcs and elves have nurtured a hate for each other that borders on the otherworldly. Orcs also have little love lost for the dwarves, who they view as competitors in the mining trade. They don’t care for halflings, either. Or gnomes. Humans are okay sometimes. Essentially, Orcs don’t get along with anyone except other orcs, and even that is a shaky proposition.

Orcs speak Orcish, a language derived from the human Common language. However, there are several different dialects of Orcish, varying from tribe to tribe. To bridge the communication gap between tribes, a combination of Orcish and Common is spoken, called Pig Common. It’s not all that hard to learn. Example: “Oo-yay ow-Nay ut-whay I een-may?”

The Encyclopedia Ardrisia , volume 20 (Null Bison to Oval Mages), Kilanio University Press, 48th edition.