William Faulkner once gave this piece of writing advice: “In writing, you must kill your darlings.” This refers to those parts of a story that the writer has fallen in love with but aren’t needed for the story anymore and can perhaps even be distracting to the reader. It can be a character, a phrase, an […]
What a difference 3 months makes! Thank you all for the extraordinarily kind words during my hiatus/sabbatical/vacation/whatever you call it. I feel much better, less burned out, and ready to draw! I really needed that. 🙂 So, who might that ghostly figure be? Take care, ~Rob
Don’t remember our old pal Gary? Go take look here to refresh your memory. Just to head off any continuity questions: if it was two years ago, why are the ruins still smoking? Good question, you have a fine eye for detail.:) To answer that, I’ll ask you this related question: if it was two […]
It was bound to happen – Dhur contributed something meaningful to the party beyond just “beatin’ up bad guys and takin’ their stuff.” Not much to talk about today, folks. Take care and I’ll see you on Friday! ~Rob
Winning streaks don’t last forever, Dhur. 🙂 I have decided that MeatShield needs to go back to a weekly schedule, effective today. There’s an old saying: “First you get good, then you get fast, then you get good and fast.” I’m working on the fast part. In other geeky news, I’m going to get to […]
I realized something earlier today: Jaine is loaded with magic. She has the following: The Verdant Mantle, which allows her to talk to animals and keeps her young (among other things); Shondella’s Blessing of Connection, which allows her to understand any language (for the rules wonks out there, she has the Tongues spell cast on […]
He’s like an eager 5-year old who’s just been entrusted with setting the dinner table and wants to help EVEN MORE!! And now, in a continuing service, an entry from the Encyclopedia Ardrisia… Chronomancy The practice of Chronomancy deals with the magical manipulation of time. One of (if not THE) most dangerous fields of arcane […]
I’m really enjoying playing D&D again, after DMing for so long. Wanna hear about my character? SURE you do! 🙂 I’m running a Human Diviner named Elias Banrion (Elias from the Prophet Elias, Banrion from the Irish for Queen, as in Ellery Queen – here’s who that is). Elias (Eli to his friends) is a […]
We should all fear Becky’s Slapping Hand, for it is powerful. For those of you who are new to the strip and are wondering why there is a DING sound effect over Dhur’s head in panel #4, allow me to explain: The way I work experience for these characters (a la D&D) is that every […]
Yes, in my world, magical clothing/armor have endure elements imbued in them. Why? Because comics, that’s why. 🙂 This strip is going live on Election Day here in the US. Today is probably the most stressful election in decades for everyone, no matter what side of the fence you sit on. Like a lot of […]
Just in case you all missed it: Dungeons and Dragons was inducted into the Toy Hall of Fame at the National Museum of Play! Like many of you, I had no idea that the Toy Hall of Fame existed, but there you go. Take care, ~Rob
This cartoon is going live on Wednesday, November 23, which is the day before Thanksgiving here in the US. I know it’s a tad clichéd to talk about what you’re thankful for at this time of year, but here goes (I’ll make it short, I promise): I am thankful for my wife and my children, […]
I have recently been told that I am hard to shop for vis-a-vis Christmas. I contend that I am easy to shop for – just buy me the books listed on my Amazon wish list, but not everyone wants to buy nothing but books for me. This puts me in a “First World Problems” sort […]
I’m pretty sure Becky knows how short the careers of most paladins are and the odds of collecting on any pension; she’s just grousing right now. I’ll be taking the next two weeks off for the holidays, so in the meantime, Merry Christmas, Happy Hanukkah, Happy Kwanzaa, and Happy Holidays to any other holidays I […]
Speaking of action figures and their accessories… I have an awesome brother-in-law who is all about the 3D printing on a professional level and a while back he asked me to make a turnaround sheet for the Nailmoor Sledge (Becky’s talking, ornery hammer). A few months later, this is what he showed me: AIn’t that […]
In D&D, there has always been four classes that, nine times out of ten, make up your standard adventuring party: Fighter (or “fighting-man” as it was originally called), Wizard (or “magic-user”), Rogue (“thief”) and Cleric, the guy who can heal with a touch and ward off undead. The fact that our little gang of misfits […]
Note to observant and/or longtime readers: Yes, I did retcon Kilanio’s descriptor just a tad, from “City of Towers,” to “City of Seven Towers.” Why? Two reasons: 1) It sounds cooler this way, and 2) seven towers are a lot easier to draw than an entire city of them. 🙂 Besides, there’s already a City […]
One of these days, I’m going draw a comic strip that doesn’t have a metric ton of detail in it. No cityscapes, no horses, etc. Yep, one day… 🙂 Next week, I’m going to be restarting the Patreon campaign for MeatShield. I’ve learned a few things since I ran my last one and I’m ready […]
And now, in a continuing service, an entry from the Encyclopedia Ardrisia… Kilanio Royal Palace Also known by the nickname “Warpwood Estate,” the palace of the ruling family of Westhame has it origins dating back to the founding of the kingdom by The Magnificent Nine, the heroes who explored the western half of the continent […]
Ah, Aniera, I’ve missed you. I guess she changed her mind about marriage. Sadly, however, this DOES mean that Jonus would be Jaine’s step-brother… if he hadn’t been disowned and thrown back into his prison cell. Take care, ~Rob
*Apologies to Aaron Williams :)* Apparently Yeagar wasn’t available to help out. Sorry, King Franz – ain’t no coming back from that. Not much to talk about today, folks. See you next week! Take care, ~Rob
One of the rules of writing comedy (or whatever it is that I do) is that you shouldn’t explain the joke. Explaining a joke is the surest route to killing said joke. However, I realize that not everyone reading this has been playing D&D since the late 70’s, so… I’m about to explain the previous […]
Why do I hear Tracy Morgan’s voice when Dhur says “we’re gonna get drunk”? Next week, a new Encyclopedia Ardrisia entry: the Taviot Library! See you then! ~Rob
I’ll be frank with you folks: some of these strips, while they do advance the story, are also just for me. This is one of them. For those of you new to the strip, I lost my father in June of 2015. His name was (and is) Jimmy Chambers. I planned on naming the soon-to-arrive […]
Jaine’s mom has connections. She was a bard, after all – those people pop up everywhere… 😉 The aforementioned EA article on the Taivot Library is being postponed to next week when it will be more appropriate. Also, apologies to Matt Damon, we ran out of time. 🙂 Take care, ~Rob
*massages hand and wrist after drawing the third panel* Ouch. That’s a lotta detail. And now, in a continuing service, an entry from the Encyclopedia Ardrisia… THE TOVIAT LIBRARY Situated on the grounds of the University of Kilanio, the Toviat Library is the greatest repository of knowledge in the world. Named after Oslof Toviat, the […]
After the last strip, this one and the one following it, I think I’ll be done drawing bookshelves for the foreseeable future. 🙂 Lyria is the creation of loyal and longtime MeatShield reader Janessa R. Some among you might remember that I had a Patreon campaign running for about a year. By contributing at different […]
So, this is happening… I’m really excited about the Patreon campaign starting back up, if you can’t tell. However, It dawned on me that some among you might not know all you get by becoming a patron of MeatShield. Here’s a look at the Patreon reward tiers: Babarian – $1 or more per month The […]
Dhur just put one whole point into his Bluff skill and is itching to use it! While I was drawing this strip, something occurred to me: how would a Dungeons & Dragons-style city handle emergencies like fires, giant sinkholes, hurricanes, and earthquakes? Would there be a department that handles such matters, like a fantasy-world version […]
I thought clerics were supposed to have high Wisdom scores? Breaking News: I expect to have the third MeatShield Book, The Tomb of Errors, available by July 1st, 2017! As in the last two books, this will have special additions to it, including Philo’s stats. However, I am entertaining suggestions for other bits of bonus […]
No question, Vorpal knows her name. 🙂 Take care, ~Rob
“You had one bloody job to do, Reg. We are SO getting fired!” Work continues on Book Three, and you can see the new book’s logo for free at the MeatShield Patreon page! I’m still looking at a July 1st release date for this one, which will include all strips from #301 to #476, as […]
Long time no see, Carl! Forgot about that ol’ thief Carl Bitter-Ore (or never heard of him)? Click here to see his debut! No, this isn’t The Patty Duke Show, folks (kids, ask your parents). Carl and Leon just look a lot alike. Case in point: in my family, the men look a great deal […]
Yes, Carl named the ship himself. No, that’s not a typo. 🙂 Since my daughters’ birthday lands on Father’s Day, my family decided to do Father’s Day for me today (6/17/17). Twin #1 made me several handmade chocolate candies, which were awesome.:) Twin #2 made me this: She took a Beginning Ceramics class and at […]
Nothing like having a little… leverage on a scumbag. 🙂 Often, when I write my characters, I hear their voices in my head. I’ve talked about this before. I used to hear either Billy Bob Thornton’s character from Sling Blade or Yosemite Sam when I wrote Carl, but now? Now, I hear Michael Rooker’s voice […]
Plus, Becky talks to her god and he talks back. She also has a puppy that has a history of eating entire inns. I am off for the Lone Star State as of July 4th, so my daughters (in their first airplane ride ever) may get to watch the fireworks from above! I plan on […]
Poor Brother Leon, trying to bail out the sinking boat that is the Bitter-Ore clan. See you next week! ~Rob
Man, you leave him unattended for two seconds… I’m seeing lots of “Doctor Who’s gonna be a WOMAN??? Nuh-uh! He’s a dude!” (or words to that effect) posts popping up on my Facebook feed, many by people that I ordinarily find to be progressive, rational people. My response? About. Frikkin’. Time. They made the Master […]
Just read the blog post title with the voice of Ralph Wiggums from the Simpsons. It’ll make sense. 🙂 Okay, last time I had a little mini-rant about Doctor Who. It’s nice to know that most folks reading this are pretty much of the same mind as I am regarding Jodie Whittaker’s casting. You folks […]
He might do some Almond Cranberry Biscotti too if he has time. I am taking next week off, folks, as today (July 29) is my birthday and a week off is my birthday present to myself. I’ll see you all week after next. Take care, ~Rob
Just a little after-dinner conversation about underground escape networks. Like you do. Don’t remember Dhur’s brother, Ghar? Click here for a refresher! Take care, ~Rob
Hey, no one said parenting half-orcs would be easy! I have a tiny favor to ask, folks. I’ve been learning more about SEO (search engine optimization). This is so that more people can discover MeatShield, and thus live better, slimmer, debt-free, happier lives with clear complexions and thicker, more lustrous hair ;). What […]
You ever look at pictures of yourself when you were a lot younger and shook your head at your fashion and/or hairstyle choices? That’s kind of what it’s like for me looking back at my older work, which I recently had to do to see how I drew both Mona (Dhur’s Mom) and Ghar. Man, […]
Wow, wonder what set Becky off? *Evil DM laugh* See you next week for MeatShield’s 8th anniversary! Take care, ~Rob
Wow, Becky sure is ticked off! In other news… MEATSHIELD – YEAR EIGHT! Eight years ago today I launched Meatshield.net! Since 2009, a lot has happened, good and bad. I’ve met (via the Interwebs) a lot of great people, learned a great deal about being a cartoonist and a business owner (still working on that […]
This is the kind of thing that happens when your primary weapon is an intelligent magical artifact – every once in a while, it has something to say, and it’s usually something you don’t want to hear. I made this announcement earlier in the week on the MeatShield Patreon page, but realized that I should […]
Parents know just how to embarrass you, especially in front of your friends. We’re back! I finished up my temporary assignment with FEMA on Dec. 14, then drove to North Texas for the holidays. Over my time at FEMA, I helped survivors of FIVE different disasters (four hurricanes and the Northern California wildfires). I learned […]
Dhur, what did we learn today? “Uhh, never give anyone a weapon they “think” they know how ta use.” What else? “That it’s a good thing I use as much product in my hair as I do.” I love traveling by map, don’t you? Take care, ~Rob
Bad attitudes don’t last forever. At least, in Ghar’s case they don’t. 🙂 I have a favor to ask: I’m trying to get better about marketing MeatShield. It’s one step on the road to being a full-time cartoonist, so I whipped up this little survey to get some very basic info. Help a dude out […]
Figuratively! They can figuratively smell fear! Yes, I about near killed my hand drawing all those bricks. The next comic strip I do is going to be nothing but talking colored shapes, like triangles and polyhedrons.;) Thank you all for participating in the survey I posted in the last blog post. So far, 89 people […]
I kind of view the Skulls like the Rover in the BBC TV show The Prisoner, except they’re skulls. And they talk. And can probably vaporize you with a look. Take care, ~Rob
As always, Dhur has the right idea: either beat the bad guys up until they can’t move no more or if it looks like they can totally kick your butt, hightail it outta there. 🙂 Take care, ~Rob
They’re giant floating skulls, not rocket scientists. 🙂 Who’s Rochar, you ask? Glad you did! Rochar is the name of a D&D character of one of my longtime readers and frequent Patreon patron, Foradain! I haven’t mentioned it much lately, but if you become a patron at the $20/month level, you get the reward of […]
I gotta say, The Inconspicuous Inn is starting to grow on me as a tavern name, supplanting my previous favorite, The Inn of the Moaning Lungfish. Here we finally meet Rochar, a D&D character run by MeatShield Patreon patron Foradain! Described as a halfing archer and ranger, Rochar is slightly taller than most halflings and […]
I have a dilemma: I would love to play in a D&D group on Twitch, but what often happens whenever I want to play D&D, I end up DMing. There’s nothing wrong with that, and I do enjoy it, but I wouldn’t want to be the DM of a Twitch stream; I’m no Matthew Mercer […]
Hmm, that coat looks familiar…. I’m thinking of restructuring the rewards tiers for the MeatShield Patreon membership. Here are the reward tiers as they stand now, with editorial comment afterwards: $1.00 per month (Barbarian Level) – Access to the MeatShield Patreon Feed. I don’t think this needs to be changed too much, but I do […]
I’ve been wanting to bring Philo back for a while now. That look on Jaine’s face makes it all worthwhile. 🙂 No deep insights or pithy comments this week, folks! See you next week! Take care, ~Rob
Not too sure what’s going on here? Take a look at this and then this. That ought to bring you back up to speed. 🙂 Tonight, my friends, I get to play D&D. Not run D&D as a DM, but play as a player. Ever since Xanathar’s Guide to Everything came out, I have been […]
Apparently Philo lost his 3-D goggles at some point. I don’t think he cares. 🙂 Take care, ~Rob
A couple of random thoughts: If there were ever to be a MeatShield convention, I would be disappointed if it weren’t named Vorp-Con. Volothamp Geddarm, or “Volo” for short, is essentially the Rick Steves of the Forgotten Realms, only Rick Steves has common sense.I could see Volo endorsing a chain of cross-planar fast food joints. […]
That Rochar, he’s a rebel, that one. Last week, I mentioned big news. The big news is… We’re moving back to Texas! This is something that my family and I have been mulling over for over 5 years. Southern California, while it never has been the most affordable place to live (unless you live waaaaaay […]
The thing about Chinchillas is that they can live to be up to 20 years old. My brother-in-law recently found this out with his little girl, who wanted a chinchilla and he figured it would be around 5, maybe 7 years, tops. Thanks for all the wishes of luck for my impending move back to […]
It’s been a while since we had any wanton violence – Dhur needs to keep in practice. Take care, ~Rob
Update from the Land of Packing Boxes Our move to the Lone Star State next month soldiers on, step by step. My house is slowly filling with cardboard boxes bought from a place called (imaginatively enough) Box City. Funny story: when my girls were little and they would ask me where we going, if I […]
You’d think they would have come up with a plan for this waaaaay beforehand. Hasta, ~Rob
They got their matching robes at Blue Hand Troll’s House of Stuff and Things. Hmm, haven’t heard from Blue in a while… In a little under three weeks, I will be leaving California for the Lone Star State. While I’m not maudlin about leaving LA, there are some things about Southern California that I will […]
This reminds me of that scene in the first Austin Powers movie where Dr. Evil is reprimanding his son, Scott Evil, for wanting to just waste Austin and be done with it instead of detailing his entire intricate evil plan to him before subjecting him to sharks with frikkin’ laser beams! Or words to that […]
I really like how this one came out.:) Well, folks, as much as I tried to work ahead (and I did – boy howdy, did I) and have comics ready to go while I was moving my family across the country, I didn’t quite hit the mark. So, after today, MeatShield will be on hiatus […]
Temporal Duplicates for the win! For the past week, I have felt the same way as Fuschia in the second panel as I’ve been fighting bronchitis in North Texas in the summer. Yech. I’ll come up with an interesting blog post for next week’s comic. In the meantime, I’m going to go cough and blow […]
Ahh, yes, the Great Onomatopoeia Battle of 2018, I remember it well… I love sound effects. 🙂 And now, in a continuing service, an entry from the Encyclopedia Ardrisia… ARTIFICERS Magic exists in many forms on Ardris. There is divine magic wielded by devout clerics or self-righteous druids; arcane magic controlled by studious wizards, unpredictable […]
Good girl, Vorpal, good girl!! We are now moved into our new place in the Lone Star State, just in time for record heat waves approaching 109 degrees. I would write more, but it’s too freaking hot, folks. I’m going to Costco now so I can hang out in the walk-in produce freezer until they […]
Wow. That’s pretty cold, Malvat, looting the body of one of your dead apprentices. Then again, what D&D player worth their salt hasn’t at least thought of looting their buddy’s corpse when their character dies? Ray: “You know, until you get raised from the dead, you’re not going to have much use for this Staff […]
Well, then. I guess the bad guy wins – oh, look, there’s Philo! Problem solved. Maybe. Quick Note: Some time has opened up in my schedule recently so now’s the time to order your commissioned art! Go take a look at the Commissions Page and think about what you’d like! Cut-off time will be September […]
Maybe that gadget of Philo’s in panel one is a Q-36 Explosive Space Modulator? You’d have to take that up with Philo. Ugh. Just ugh. This summer has been brutal. I moved from California to Texas with my eyes open – I knew humidity would come into play, I’ve dealt with it before. However, HOLY […]
Like any evil wizard worth his salt, Malvat Magh has a contingency spell in his back pocket. Will we see him again? Time will tell… Take care, ~Rob
Yes, for those of you new to the strip, that purple guy is indeed Philo. Philo’s a changeling, which we found out about wayyy back here. Take care, ~Rob
Daaaang, son! Way to live your faith Leon! Hey, want to see what happens next? For $2 a month you can join the MeatShield Patreon community and get early access to the latest MeatShield comic, one week before the rest of humanity! That works out to about 7 cents a day – not too shabby! […]
Before any D&D diehards start talking about the rules being broken here, know a couple of things: Yes, I do know that Brother Leon is too low in level to be casting Resurrect. He’s about 3rd level, whereas casting the Resurrect spell requires the cleric to be 13th level or higher. This is a D&D-inspired […]
Poor Leon. Maybe he can join AARP now? That discount isn’t anything to sneeze at. Foradain, one of MeatShield’s longtime readers, asked last week what I had planned for “the devil’s comic”, i.e. strip #666 (this one). To tell the truth, it kind of snuck up on me. Instead of making some sort of in-strip […]
Imagine how Philo is going to feel when he sits down to plan out his next gadget knowing that a being of immense cosmic power is WATCHING HIS EVERY MOVE WITH GREAT INTEREST. I don’t know about you, but that much pressure would stick me with the world’s biggest case of writer’s block. Or artificer’s […]
We’ve seen Maureen before. Guess she found someone to give her foot rubs and not steal the covers at night. 🙂 Why didn’t Nomos notice Maureen was “in a family way?” He’s been a bit busy running a rebellion to depose a bunch of evil mages – I think Maureen will give him a pass […]
Yep, they have a ship now. In case you don’t remember, here’s where Dhur was given his assignment. Take care, ~Rob
We bring the epic of the Empire of the Mithril Skulls to a close, only to face a newer, greater threat: Thesis Presentation! It hasn’t been touched on in a VERY long time, but Jaine is actually a Bardic Graduate Student who has been working on her thesis project, a ballad about a great hero. […]